Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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