Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
