these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
