He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize