just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
