So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
