My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
