well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
