just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
