Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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