I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
