Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize