I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
