Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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