i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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