i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
