so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
