Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
