im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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