have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
