So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
