ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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