I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
