so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
