You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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