He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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