last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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