i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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