Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
