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• (914): View more from New York

  saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

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• (914): View more from New York

  I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.

  (917): View more from New York City

  why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  kinda like you and your friends.

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• (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

  (1+44): View more from

  Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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• (343): View more from Ontario

  Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?

  (1-343): View more from Ontario

  Lol, last year was UNREAL

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.

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