She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize