That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
