remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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