I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
