I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize