do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
