I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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