If i come over, it means nothing
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
