Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
