His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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