Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
