They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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