i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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