Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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