theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
