he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
