you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
