Princesses don't give blow jobs
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
