I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
