Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
