:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
