I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
