i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
