i just made my gag reflex go away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
