yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
