went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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