Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
