i don't like sucking hair
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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