i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
