I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
